| The Institute for Living |
Would You Rather Be
Happy Or Sorrowful?
Happy Or Sorrowful?
| This seems like a silly question. We spend most of our time and energy doing those things that make us happy, and trying to avoid those things that would bring sorrow to our souls. Typically, we try to get all the money we can; we buy clothes, cars, houses, and food to make ourselves happy. At the top of our list is generally the pursuit of friends and a love partner. Of course, in pursuit of these objects of happiness we often encounter much sorrow. Although sorrow was not our goal, it became our experience. So perhaps it’s worth examining whether or not that goal really helps us achieve what we really want. My friend and fellow clergy, Dick Wing, recently quoted Rabbi Marc Gellman to say, “…very bad people can be very happy. Super bad folk can be smiling and saints can be tormented. In fact, that is the way it is in most of the cases.” Gellman goes on to say, “In the real world, happy saints are also rare. King, Gandhi and Schweitzer lived with troubled souls but were nonetheless able to achieve a level of surpassing goodness.” Furthermore, the Bible says that Jesus was “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” (Isaiah 53:3) |
| In most of our families we can identify someone – an old aunt, an uncle, a grandparent – who is tough as shoe leather. They seemed to have weathered many storms. They have learned something that we wish we could grasp: an ability to stick it out no matter how tough things get. They seem to have a depth to their soul that we all admire. We all go to them for advice and solace. |
| As African Americans, we have a legacy of coming through great sorrow to establish our place in society. Songs such as “Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ ve Seen” attest to the great struggle upon which we’ve build our house. In the 60s we coined a term called “soul.” It simply referred to that undefined quality of unshakable substance that other ethnic groups didn’t possess. It was displayed in our singing, our dancing, our athletics, and just our general expression of life. It was our secret elixir of sorrow and struggle that we used to brew the sweet tea of an overcoming life. |
Am I saying that we should walk around sad, with our head hung down, never smiling? Of course not. But it is from the bowels of sorrow that enlightenment is born. Great strength comes from deep despair. Not only do tears carry our sorrow; they clear our eyes for new vision. Systemically, happiness is an unstable condition. Bishop Paul S. Morton had a gorgeous home that brought him tremendous happiness; but it got totally destroyed in Hurricane Katrina. It is the peace that he has in God that sustains him now – and enables him to strengthen other people. He was already a wonderful singer, but now he sings with a depth of anointing that is simply captivating and infectious. Even Jesus the Christ demonstrated the power of sorrow. He performed many miracles. However, it was not until He endured His greatest sorrow – the crucifixion and burial – that he emerged and said, “ALL POWER IS IN MY HANDS.” |
It seems to me that the goal should be Peace rather than happiness. Isaiah 26:3 promises, “I will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Me.” It is in the state of sorrow that we search for peace. That is, we search to find meaning, purpose and congruity in what otherwise looks like a mess. Vicious pain becomes the pathway to power and new light/life. |
Peace lets me sleep calmly at night; no matter what’s going on in my life. Peace is assuredness. Peace is knowing that He’s the keeper of my soul. Peace is knowing that what’s going on around me is not my final reality. Peace is knowing that I am connected to something so strong that no matter what comes and goes I will survive. Peace is knowing that though my life may seem like a fiery furnace, I will emerge as pure gold. Peace is knowing that although I may be broken; the potter will make me a new creation – better than I was before. |
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Be sure to read our recently released book: The Making of a Preacher: Naked in the Pulpit |